Walking into Battle

[The Challenge: Write down the meanest thing anyone has ever said to you.]

I can see the hate fill his eyes and have to keep reminding myself that it isn’t hate but anger that I see. He has taken both my hands in his which confuses me because his eyes shout hate but in the way he holds my hands it shows he still cares. I’m confused so I look away hoping that this will help clear my groggy mind, I look at the floor and this seems to anger him more. His voice rises again and like a viper he spits out words he knows will scar me, he spits out words like poison and he knows that with each one that hits me it burns into my flesh, straight towards my soul, wounding me.

When I try to calm him I can feel his mind awaken to a new string of beliefs and I can feel his grip on my hands tighten and I know he doesn’t see this. I brace myself for the second round of onslaught and I convince myself again that he is just angry with me, that I have done wrong and that I deserve his anger. I brace myself because I know he is going in for the kill, I know that he has built himself up enough, he has made himself believe everything that he has said and I know that once he has said what he has needed to say, he will stop and this will end.

I let the word-bullets hit my unprotected self over and over again and I know that he can feel my body; mind and soul begin to crumble as I sink deeper and deeper into the couch. He turns from a human into a steel machine running on overloaded spite and he can feel the strength in his armor grow with each action which makes him confident and seem to grow without standing up. Many words are taken and manipulated to form the strongest form of hurt but once he runs out of words, there is nothing left for him to say so he gives me a solid hug letting me know he is there to pick me up and look after me, as though he was never the one who pushed me down and gutted me.

I believe the assault was my own cause and I believe that I walked into this battlefield knowingly, so I willingly melt into the hug even though I am bruised and broken. I’m thankful that everything is numb because when he tucks me in to sleep, it makes closing my eyes and fading so much easier.

  
Follow @TheFirstChild