Day Fourteen
When I tell countless people that I'm heading out for dinner with the ex, I get hit by a rushing wave of questions:
What type of dinner is it?
What are you expecting?
Why are you going for dinner?
Is it a date?
Are you getting back together?
Are you thinking about it?
The more the questions are thrown at me, the more I realize that the only reason the friends are asking is because they simply do not understand.
One of the saddest parts about being someone's ex is losing the days, months and years that you spent with that person.
Too many people throw away the history that defined them.
Too many people do not realize that it's that ex whom defined them.
It's that ex who knows you better than you know yourself (infact, it's that ex who knows me better than my own mother).
Let me ask you a question or two, as you may be someone who finds it hard to be friends with your ex:
Why do you want to throw those pages of your history, your life away?
How can you throw those pages away so easily?
What type of dinner is it?
What are you expecting?
Why are you going for dinner?
Is it a date?
Are you getting back together?
Are you thinking about it?
The more the questions are thrown at me, the more I realize that the only reason the friends are asking is because they simply do not understand.
One of the saddest parts about being someone's ex is losing the days, months and years that you spent with that person.
Too many people throw away the history that defined them.
Too many people do not realize that it's that ex whom defined them.
It's that ex who knows you better than you know yourself (infact, it's that ex who knows me better than my own mother).
Let me ask you a question or two, as you may be someone who finds it hard to be friends with your ex:
Why do you want to throw those pages of your history, your life away?
How can you throw those pages away so easily?
Sometimes the hardest thing in life is not letting go, but simply holding on.
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| Dinner for two? Yes please. |
Talking from experience (being a friend who've asked questions like that): a part of why friends ask questions like that is also due to concern. Generally the amount of people who fail at being friends with an ex far outweigh the number that manages to attain that special balance. And generally a good friend will be concerned that you might get hurt.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who have also managed to remain friends with an ex but it took a while to convince me that she'll be fine, that the emotions are at such a point that she's not just holding on to whatever she can get instead of moving on. Because that also sometimes happen. Being friends sometimes prevent the two people from moving on; this can be due to one person still holding on to a hope for more or it can be something as simple of being scared of hurting your friend through starting a new relationship. Either way it's a tricky bridge.
The only ex I've managed to be friends with required me to let go first because emotions were just too highly charged directly after the break-up even-though it was a mutual thing. Eventually as things calmed down and we both moved on to new relationships - we're now able to have very nice conversations when we meet. :)
To answer your direct questions though: sometimes you don't want to throw away those pages but it's necessary if either or both people can't just enjoy each other's company and sometimes it just hurts too much to see the other person for whatever reason.
"Ted from HIMYM: When you date someone it's like you're taking a class in them and when you break up it's like all that knowledge is useless. It's the emotional equivalent of an English degree"
Phew - Loved your comment! Thank you so much for sharing your view.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to have the other side of things explained as well as you've just explained it to me - so thank you for taking the time to do that :)
Love the quote at the end!