Complicated Understandings
<This was written before my sister passed away, Blogger wasn't working at the time>
I’ve been left to experience a reality check that I would otherwise have fought hell and high waters not to experience. My sister has been in Intensive Care for 174 days to date and the occurrence has lead my family and I to go through the five emotions mentioned in a Scrubs episode: Fear, Denial, Bargaining, Anger and Acceptance. Though I don’t think I’m prepared to move into the ‘Acceptance’ stage just yet (because in my eyes that would be like saying “I have no more strength to believe in faith left inside of me”) I’ve felt what Fear, Denial, Bargaining and Anger feel like and the one thing I can share is that these four emotions have one thing in common: Hopelessness.
Through this situation, I can say one thing with strength: I hate society.
Is that a harsh thing to say? Are you offended? I’m wondering why I have no regret in saying that simple, three-worded sentence or even why I have no apology left in me to pass onto you to ensure that you feel better about yourself.
My sister is 22 years old; she spent her birthday unconscious in ICU during November 2010 and we have almost lost her on more than one occasion during this time. Her name is Kylee Sleigh and she was born with Cerebral Palsy. Kylee is a part of the few special people in this world who with her personality can attract love, understanding, kindness and courage from the most distant of souls. I have seen her attract complete strangers in a packed shopping mall, all with different beliefs, who for a moment don’t feel the need to hide their religion for fear of judgment and who without hesitance have laid hands on her to thank whichever power they believe in for her existence. My sister isn’t able to talk, but she can share a zillion emotions with you through just one glance. One strong emotion of Kylee's is always being her excitement to see you when you first step into a room. If she is unable to see you but can hear you say ‘Hello’ she will look for you and when she spots you, the biggest grin will spread onto her face welcoming you into her world.
When you’ve had the worse day in the world, you can lay cuddling next to my sister and you can immediately feel the force of Love reach out to touch your soul and when you feel the world hates you, she will always be there to supply the smile that you thought no one would give you.
When you’ve had the worse day in the world, you can lay cuddling next to my sister and you can immediately feel the force of Love reach out to touch your soul and when you feel the world hates you, she will always be there to supply the smile that you thought no one would give you.
It is with this knowledge in mind that I say what I do in that one hard sentence. All the children that I have met and have had the pleasure of spending my time with, who are Cerebral Palsy or have Down Syndrome or who are just special, are the most amazingly precious, caring, lovable, kind, soft, unjudgmental people I have ever met in this world.
The sad thing is these people are the ones who have to suffer from things like congenital heart disease; malignancies, thyroid disorders, gastrointestinal, epilepsy and some are not strong enough which leads to an early death.
The sad thing is these people are the ones who have to suffer from things like congenital heart disease; malignancies, thyroid disorders, gastrointestinal, epilepsy and some are not strong enough which leads to an early death.
Society is filled with people who hate, kill, hurt, lust, threaten, lie, bargain, who destroy themselves, who destroy their futures, who don't fight for things worth fighting for and who take for granted the life in which they were given. Society is filled with people who believe there will be a tomorrow and that any change that needs to take place within their lives can happen tomorrow or the next day.
Does society not realise what a gift it has and how precious this gift really is. Is society not aware they they are the lucky few who are able to live their full life and that they can make a difference.
With my sister being in the situation she was not asked to be in, but was planned to be in before her birth, I have to ask: When will you start living your life to the fullest with the full appreciation that’s missed? When will you be brave enough to not conform to the ways of an ever-increasing world of closed blinds? When will you better yourself to be more than the best of what you can be instead of falling into the trap or routine, culture or just bad habits?
Does society not realise what a gift it has and how precious this gift really is. Is society not aware they they are the lucky few who are able to live their full life and that they can make a difference.
With my sister being in the situation she was not asked to be in, but was planned to be in before her birth, I have to ask: When will you start living your life to the fullest with the full appreciation that’s missed? When will you be brave enough to not conform to the ways of an ever-increasing world of closed blinds? When will you better yourself to be more than the best of what you can be instead of falling into the trap or routine, culture or just bad habits?
These are just my thoughts and with the unconscious help from my sister, Kylee, I was able to realize how selfish this society is becoming.
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